Of Raya and Inner Peace.

I was planning on sleeping early tonight. But then I got caught up in my video games, and then got the urge to write. And now here I am, writing in this blog.

'Eid was celebrated by Muslims all over the world last week, and some celebrated more than others. A friend in France spoke of having to go to class right after the morning 'Eid prayers. Here in Malaysia, there were still a lot of shops closed almost a whole week after 'Eid.

In Malaysia, 'Eid is commonly referred to as Raya. My immediate family isn't really big on Raya, as the fact that my grandparents on both my parents' sides live just nearby. Some people take the whole week off for Raya to visit far-off relatives; we were done in a single day, as the furthest we went to visit lived only about half an hour away.

Raya, for me, is not something I typically look forward to. First of all, it signifies the end of the fasting month of Ramadan. Back in the Prophet's day, people used to weep when Ramadan ended, as with it went all its blessings. In Malaysia, festive music can be heard everywhere, even during the early days of the fasting month.

Second of all, Raya means having to dress up in traditional costume, going to visit your friends and relatives, and eating the same food at every single house you visit. I don't remember looking forward to, and much less enjoying, going through a combination of those things on this particular day throughout my whole young life. I mean, I wear my baju melayu almost every Friday. We visit the same relatives we visit on Raya all the time, even when it's not Raya. And sometimes we even have Raya food when it's not Raya. So what makes doing all three of these things on the same day special?

So yeah, I'm basically not a Raya person.

However, this year I decided that things would be different. I wouldn't allow my negative feelings towards Raya and the things I would be doing on it affect me. I was going to enjoy the celebration. For once.

And I did. Sort of.

Instead of the usual baju melayu-and-jeans combination, I went for the full set, with songkok and kain samping and everything. Instead of just sitting around eating and watching TV at the various houses we visited, I made an effort to actually talk to my relatives (which was difficult and somewhat awkward due to the age gaps, but I guess it was fine). I also ate my fill of Raya food, instead of taking teeny tiny portions like I usually do.

Maybe I wouldn't have enjoyed Raya much this time around if it had lasted more than a day, which, thankfully, it didn't. I'm sure I wouldn't have been able to keep up my festive mood for that long. I'm basically never in a festive mood, so if it does come around I can't say I have too much practice with maintaining it.

One thing I learned from all this is that a celebration is only as good as you make it. The only way to enjoy something is to allow yourself to do so.

Realizing that I was my very own personal killjoy was, needless to say, a real eye-opener. Enjoying the things I do helps me to be happy, and being happy helps to give me inner peace. And really, there's not a whole lot a person could want more in this world besides inner peace.

There's too much turmoil in the world. We shouldn't have to let any of it seep into our heads.