Down To Earth.

The 2011 SPM results were released earlier today, much to the anxiety of 468, 808 recent secondary school leavers. They were supposed to have been released as early as 10 in the morning, but at my school in Rembau we were forced to wait until almost three hours later.

The night before, my Facebook news feed had been filled with SPM-themed posts. Most of my batchmates had switched their profile pictures to the same one - an admittedly well-edited picture of our batch. A certain friend had spammed my inbox with messages telling me to do the same.

I'd actually just gotten back from Terengganu at the time, so I was somewhat pissed. But just a little. So, I ended up changing my profile picture anyway.

Now back to results day. Well, first there were the following announcements, among others:

• Semesra had come in third in the state, behind established schools Kolej Tunku Kurshiah and SMS Tunku Munawir.
• Semesra had come in first in the Rembau district.
• The Rembau district was the top district in the state. Well, it only has about 10 secondary schools, including Semesra, so this was not exactly shocking.

Then the names of the top-scoring students were called out one by one. Three managed to achieve the coveted 9A+ target, and 66 others just about fell short, 'only' managing various A's for their nine subjects. All in all the Valedictorians had achieved a CGPA of 1.30, which isn't too shabby for a school with an age of just over two years.

The top scorers. Picture courtesy of Semesra official blog.

Well, how did I do, then? I was one of the 66, with a result of 5A+, 4A.

"Wow, that's great!" "Congratulations!" "You did fantastic!"

I know, I know. But to be honest, I was in fact somewhat less than thrilled with my achievement. After receiving my results, I was overcome by a strange feeling, which I took to be indifference at the time. I lost my appetite, I lost my mood for social interaction, and worst of all I didn't even do any grammar checking while looking through the new, beautifully-made school magazine (Okay, maybe just a little).

Despite the fact that I had managed to better all my previous exam results, I just couldn't be happy with it. I had failed to get straight A pluses, and that one thought dominated my mind. Maybe others noticed, or maybe they were too happy with their own results to do so. But I knew what had inflicted me: disappointment.

A part in the back of my mind knew all along that I didn't deserve to get 9A+. I was much too lazy, and always too embroiled in my own non-academic thoughts most of the time. If anyone deserved that achievement, it was the bookworms. You know the type. Studying day in, day out; staying up late to study; hardly, if ever, coming out to play. And indeed, the three people who managed 9A+ ticked all these boxes (no offence).

And yet, another part of me stubbornly refused to accept that. This part somehow instilled in me a belief that I didn't have to sacrifice my fun in order to succeed. I often fantasized about what I would do if I managed to get 9A+, even with my unorthodox study methods.

But I was wrong, and this was probably what hit me hardest. I realised that no one ever amounted to anything by simply loafing around, and laughing at the ones who actually put in some effort. I had to stop building castles in the air, and I needed to come back down to earth. An immediate change of mentality was required in order to get through college and whatever else that comes afterwards.

Everything that happens is for the best. God, in His infinite wisdom decided to show me the error of my ways, and I am grateful for that. Alhamdulillah. Thank you for this, Allah.

Congratulations to the Valedictorians. And I'm sorry as well - looks like I won't be uploading any hair-free pictures on Facebook anytime soon.

Picture courtesy of Yasmeen Fazeera Shamsuddin, who also managed straight A's. Congratulations.