Anticipation.

It really says something about my life nowadays that the only thing worth writing about at the moment is an event that hasn't occurred yet. That's right, I'm talking about Judgment Day, or in other words the day the SPM results are coming out.

So, how many days are left exactly? I don't like to think about that. I find it sufficient to simply keep that date with fate, 22nd March 2012 in the back of my mind. Not very hard to do, as it coincides with a friend's 18th birthday.

Studying. Those were hectic times.

Just like my peers, I have thought about what might happen come the 22nd. How would my results turn out? Would they meet my expectations? Would they meet everyone else's expectations? And how short would I have to cut my hair after that?

Looking back on those days leading up to 'the big one', I sometimes wonder if I did enough. After all I did sleep and play a whole lot more than mostly everyone else. And I'm certain that I did a great deal less revision too. Perhaps, based on effort alone I should never have been entitled to better academic performances than many of my batchmates.

But then I remember my earlier school years, and my incredible laziness back then. Before coming to Rembau I had never stayed up until morning to friggin' study, of all things. I'd barely even bothered to study at all outside of school hours. So, in a way, I actually had put in a great deal of effort, even if only from my own perspective. Showing that there is still hope for my SPM results, then, as well as putting my conscience to rest.

And then I return to reality. I remember that there's no point in worrying, and whatever will be, will be. Only God Almighty knows what's best for me, and whatever happens, I will be safe in the knowledge that it's all part of a greater plan. SPM results do not, after all, determine success in the future.

That being said, there's no harm in praying for excellent results. There's nothing else we can do nowadays that could possibly influence what we'll see printed on our result slips in a few weeks' time. Keep praying, and keep the faith.