Peaceful.

Been a bit of a strange month for me, in that I've found things to be quite peaceful despite all the noise going on around me. I'm about two months behind on my research work, and I have to report my progress at a colloquium on Thursday. I haven't decided on what reason/excuse to give for that; I don't suppose 'slacking off' would sit too well with the faculty. Maybe 'personal reasons' would suffice.

At this moment in time, I am a bit motivated to do my work, and therefore it's beyond me how I've been so demotivated for these past few months. I suppose once you've climbed out of a dark hole it's difficult to see what it's like at the bottom.

This has been mostly due, I feel, to my attending of a number of talks over the past month dealing with the Islamic approach to, well, being in a dark place. Attending a few of those talks with an old friend helped too. I've managed to find my motivation again, and, for whatever reason, this time it just feels more sustainable than before. Perhaps I just have a clearer picture of what I'm doing, and perhaps it's just the time-running-out factor that's triggered me into action, but generally I just feel more at peace with myself and my research. I just want to get this done with so I can move on to the next stage of my life, whatever that will be.

Of course, I still have no idea what I'm going to be doing once I complete my Master's. My supervisor told me she's submitted my name for a PhD scholarship starting in September of next year, and if I'm interested she'll push it through. While that does sound enticing, I still wonder if it would be better for me to go into the industry first before getting my doctorate. I reckon it could be difficult for a PhD holder with no industrial experience to get a job outside of academics and research, especially considering the amount of salary I'd be asking for.

There's more to that dilemma, but I don't suppose you'd want to hear about the intricacies of it. It's something I myself would prefer not to think about. Deciding on my next holiday destination sounds like a lot more fun.

I have been thinking about going to Ireland, to be honest, as an old friend who's studying there hit me up the other day and invited me to come over. I haven't actually looked up what's there to see in Ireland, as that can wait until later when I want the hype to build up, but I'm sure there'll be something.

But do I want to spend several thousand ringgit on another trip to Europe? It's a few thousand ringgit I could be putting in my savings to buy a house or something at some point. Is that money better spent investing on physical assets or making myself more cultured? Suddenly, thinking about my next holiday destination isn't so much fun anymore.

I guess things will happen in time, and whatever happens will be for the best. The good thing about the future is that it's always still a way off, and you don't really have to think about it too much. For the moment I'll just live in the present and see how things go.