Yesterday, I came across this journal/diary that I wrote in a notebook back when I was in Form 5. I hadn't written that much in it; it must have been less than 20 pages long in total. I thought reading it was going to be a bit cringey, and it was, but at the end I found myself wishing that I'd written much more than I had. It made me realize just how much I'd forgotten about my life in Rembau, despite my two years there possibly being the best time of my life so far.
It would have been nice to go through more old stories. In fact, if I'd filled all hundred or so pages in that notebook, I might even have been able to publish them as memoirs, which I suppose could be worth something given that I would have written about the earliest years in my school's history. My grandfather once told me about a former classmate of his who did publish memoirs of their school days (which were around 50 or 60 years ago), and the book was considered a document of historical significance. Opportunity missed, I suppose.
I think I would have written more if I hadn't allowed myself to be bound by the stigma associated with boys writing in diaries. Even now, five years on, I am painfully aware that I'm still allowing myself to be bound by certain stigmas, albeit not as many as before.
I did write a lot when I first started this blog, though. As a fresh SPM graduate with an itch to write and plenty of time on my hands, I duly put out post after post after post. As time went on and life got busier, writing in this blog became less frequent and less detailed. If a busier life meant fewer posts, surely I'd write more if I had more time?
It's been exactly a month since I finished internship, and this is only my second post since then. Clearly the theory was mistaken; the volume of writing does not necessarily relate to the amount of time available. It's not as if I've been kicking my heels all day every day since then anyway; plenty has happened, and I've been keeping myself busy roughly half the time. The other half has been spent with recreational activities at home, none of which, unfortunately, involve much writing.
I have been wanting to write: scripts for a couple of personal video projects, articles for my university's e-newsletter, and posts for this blog. Inspiration, sadly, has been hard to come by. Home isn't exactly conducive for intellectual thought, particularly when the TV seems to be tuned in to low-grade comedy shows most of the time (they seem to be all the rage these days). I'll stop right there before this turns into a rant on the quality of today's television programming.
If I am to start writing more (again), I'll need stimulation. I need to be in an environment that promotes creative and critical thinking. I need to read thought-provoking articles. I need to have deep, intellectual discussions with people I don't know very well so that the conversations don't go into more personal matters. I need to be around people who, like me, think way too much about everything.
All in all, while the environment I'm in does play a large role in the amount and quality of writing that I produce, the most important factor is, of course, myself. If I really want to write, I'll find a way to do so. Maybe it hasn't been inspiration that's been lacking, really - perhaps it's motivation.
I'll be flying off to France on the 11th of June, and I purposely planned it so that I wouldn't be completely dependent on my friends there. For instance, I'm due to arrive in Lyon on June 11 at about 7.30 pm and will only be meeting up with a familiar face (about 5 hours away in Nice) the next day. Given that I'm due to arrive in Nice at about 3 pm on June 12, this means that I'll be completely alone in a foreign country for almost 20 whole hours. And we haven't even gotten started on the fact that it will be Ramadan then. If the need to survive during that time won't stimulate my brain, I don't know what will.
I think I would have written more if I hadn't allowed myself to be bound by the stigma associated with boys writing in diaries. Even now, five years on, I am painfully aware that I'm still allowing myself to be bound by certain stigmas, albeit not as many as before.
I did write a lot when I first started this blog, though. As a fresh SPM graduate with an itch to write and plenty of time on my hands, I duly put out post after post after post. As time went on and life got busier, writing in this blog became less frequent and less detailed. If a busier life meant fewer posts, surely I'd write more if I had more time?
It's been exactly a month since I finished internship, and this is only my second post since then. Clearly the theory was mistaken; the volume of writing does not necessarily relate to the amount of time available. It's not as if I've been kicking my heels all day every day since then anyway; plenty has happened, and I've been keeping myself busy roughly half the time. The other half has been spent with recreational activities at home, none of which, unfortunately, involve much writing.
I have been wanting to write: scripts for a couple of personal video projects, articles for my university's e-newsletter, and posts for this blog. Inspiration, sadly, has been hard to come by. Home isn't exactly conducive for intellectual thought, particularly when the TV seems to be tuned in to low-grade comedy shows most of the time (they seem to be all the rage these days). I'll stop right there before this turns into a rant on the quality of today's television programming.
If I am to start writing more (again), I'll need stimulation. I need to be in an environment that promotes creative and critical thinking. I need to read thought-provoking articles. I need to have deep, intellectual discussions with people I don't know very well so that the conversations don't go into more personal matters. I need to be around people who, like me, think way too much about everything.
All in all, while the environment I'm in does play a large role in the amount and quality of writing that I produce, the most important factor is, of course, myself. If I really want to write, I'll find a way to do so. Maybe it hasn't been inspiration that's been lacking, really - perhaps it's motivation.
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I'll be flying off to France on the 11th of June, and I purposely planned it so that I wouldn't be completely dependent on my friends there. For instance, I'm due to arrive in Lyon on June 11 at about 7.30 pm and will only be meeting up with a familiar face (about 5 hours away in Nice) the next day. Given that I'm due to arrive in Nice at about 3 pm on June 12, this means that I'll be completely alone in a foreign country for almost 20 whole hours. And we haven't even gotten started on the fact that it will be Ramadan then. If the need to survive during that time won't stimulate my brain, I don't know what will.
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