Underdogs.

I woke up early this morning to watch the 2016 UEFA Champions League final. I'd actually woken up later than planned and thought I'd missed it, but thankfully the match had gone to extra time. Real Madrid eventually triumphed over their fierce rivals Atletico 5-3 on penalties.

It wasn't the result I was hoping for, as I was, in fact, supporting Atletico. I'd never really liked Real Madrid anyway, and let's say I didn't exactly enjoy the fact that they had become European champions at Atletico's expense for the second time in three years.

The result also made it five years in a row in which I'd backed the losing team in the Champions League final:

2012: Chelsea 1-1 Bayern Munich; Chelsea won 4-3 on penalties

I typically support the underdog in a game that doesn't involve a team I support. Chelsea were the heavy underdogs in this one, but being an Arsenal fan I was always going to cheer against them. As it turned out, they managed to beat the Germans on penalties in their own home stadium.

2013: Bayern Munich 2-1 Borussia Dortmund (after extra time)

Dortmund are the team I support in the German Bundesliga, and I figured that their recent record against heavyweights Bayern meant that they had a good chance of beating them. It wasn't to be, unfortunately, as Bayern successfully exorcized the demons of the previous year's final by winning it in extra time.

2014: Real Madrid 4-1 Atletico Madrid (a.e.t.)

Atletico had just pulled off a shock last-day Spanish league title win, and given that they seemed to be beating their city rivals Real all the time those days, I really thought they could win this one. They almost did, too, until Real scored in the last minute to take the match to extra time. A mentally broken Atletico went on to concede three more times in the ensuing half-hour.

2015: Barcelona 3-1 Juventus

Okay, I didn't really think Juventus were going to win this one, but I hoped they would anyway as they were the underdogs. As it turned out, Barca were just too good for them and won quite convincingly.

2016: Real Madrid 1-1 Atletico Madrid; Real won 5-3 on penalties

Same fixture from two years ago, and it ended with the same result. Atletico were, yet again, unlucky.

I wonder just how long my run of backing the losing team will continue. I guess this has mostly to do with my championing of the underdog, which isn't the best strategy to have if you like your team winning matches.

But that's just it: football isn't all about winning. Everyone has their own reasons for watching football or supporting whatever team they support - I watch football for the very simple reason that I love football and everything about it. It's not something everyone can understand.

Now to look forward to the Euros. They were the original reason why I decided to go to France this summer, but since I wasn't able to get hold of any match tickets I guess I'll settle for soaking up the atmosphere. I'm planning to vlog my experiences there, as I think I'll be able to capture the mood in a way that writing in this blog simply cannot.

I will still write while I'm in France, of course. The plan is for this blog and the vlog(s) to complement each other. We'll see how it goes.

Stimulation.

Yesterday, I came across this journal/diary that I wrote in a notebook back when I was in Form 5. I hadn't written that much in it; it must have been less than 20 pages long in total. I thought reading it was going to be a bit cringey, and it was, but at the end I found myself wishing that I'd written much more than I had. It made me realize just how much I'd forgotten about my life in Rembau, despite my two years there possibly being the best time of my life so far.

It would have been nice to go through more old stories. In fact, if I'd filled all hundred or so pages in that notebook, I might even have been able to publish them as memoirs, which I suppose could be worth something given that I would have written about the earliest years in my school's history. My grandfather once told me about a former classmate of his who did publish memoirs of their school days (which were around 50 or 60 years ago), and the book was considered a document of historical significance. Opportunity missed, I suppose.

I think I would have written more if I hadn't allowed myself to be bound by the stigma associated with boys writing in diaries. Even now, five years on, I am painfully aware that I'm still allowing myself to be bound by certain stigmas, albeit not as many as before.

I did write a lot when I first started this blog, though. As a fresh SPM graduate with an itch to write and plenty of time on my hands, I duly put out post after post after post. As time went on and life got busier, writing in this blog became less frequent and less detailed. If a busier life meant fewer posts, surely I'd write more if I had more time?

It's been exactly a month since I finished internship, and this is only my second post since then. Clearly the theory was mistaken; the volume of writing does not necessarily relate to the amount of time available. It's not as if I've been kicking my heels  all day every day since then anyway; plenty has happened, and I've been keeping myself busy roughly half the time. The other half has been spent with recreational activities at home, none of which, unfortunately, involve much writing.

I have been wanting to write: scripts for a couple of personal video projects, articles for my university's e-newsletter, and posts for this blog. Inspiration, sadly, has been hard to come by. Home isn't exactly conducive for intellectual thought, particularly when the TV seems to be tuned in to low-grade comedy shows most of the time (they seem to be all the rage these days). I'll stop right there before this turns into a rant on the quality of today's television programming.

If I am to start writing more (again), I'll need stimulation. I need to be in an environment that promotes creative and critical thinking. I need to read thought-provoking articles. I need to have deep, intellectual discussions with people I don't know very well so that the conversations don't go into more personal matters. I need to be around people who, like me, think way too much about everything.

All in all, while the environment I'm in does play a large role in the amount and quality of writing that I produce, the most important factor is, of course, myself. If I really want to write, I'll find a way to do so. Maybe it hasn't been inspiration that's been lacking, really - perhaps it's motivation.

****

I'll be flying off to France on the 11th of June, and I purposely planned it so that I wouldn't be completely dependent on my friends there. For instance, I'm due to arrive in Lyon on June 11 at about 7.30 pm and will only be meeting up with a familiar face (about 5 hours away in Nice) the next day. Given that I'm due to arrive in Nice at about 3 pm on June 12, this means that I'll be completely alone in a foreign country for almost 20 whole hours. And we haven't even gotten started on the fact that it will be Ramadan then. If the need to survive during that time won't stimulate my brain, I don't know what will.

Graduation.

Over a week has passed since I finished my internship (and subsequently my undergraduate studies). It wasn't so much a liberation but instead merely the end of just another phase in life. The universe wasted no time in welcoming me to the real world as 'adult' matters poured in incessantly. In fact, they seemed even bigger since I no longer had my academics to distract me.

It's still early days, and I guess I'm still adapting to life after graduation. It's different for everyone, of course, but this is my lot and I accept what I've been given. I'm the type of person who constantly needs to have something to do in order to maintain his sanity.

I still have France to look forward to, and I'm taking my time with preparations. I still have over a month to plan, so I can afford to go at my own pace. In any case, I'm not really in the mental and emotional state to do any concrete planning at this point in time.

There are, of course, bigger decisions to be made other than my itinerary for France. I'm still not really sure what to do with my life - if the place I interned at offers me a job (and right now it seems likely that it will) I'll take it, and maybe I'll work there for a few years before furthering my studies. But then what? It may seem like it's far too early to plan for that, and maybe it is, but it's good to have some idea of your path in life.

I guess I don't have too much to write about in this post, as I've either already written out my thoughts on Facebook or simply chosen not to share them online. My head is a mess right now anyway.