I'm not sure if I've explicitly mentioned this before on this blog, but here goes: I don't want to be an actuary anymore. I've been studying Actuarial Finance for the last three years, and over that whole period I just wasn't able to really develop any sort of passion for the actuarial profession. I've spoken to actuarial lecturers, other actuarial students from other universities, and participated in events for actuarial students - all this, and still nothing.
I even found the time to attend one last event for actuarial students last weekend. I'd already more or less decided I wouldn't pursue a career along this line by then, so, the way I saw it, taking part in this event was sort of like a make-or-break - I was either going to confirm my decision to not become an actuary, or find the motivation to go along that profession after all.
The event consisted of four workshops and a series of other talks which all gave some fantastic insight into the life of an actuary. I was impressed with the overall organization, and the speakers were highly qualified and thus very knowledgeable. If I was going to be finally convinced that I would someday join the ranks of the currently less than 200 fully qualified actuaries in this country, this event was going to do it.
It didn't, of course. Others may have been motivated, but I was shown once and for all that my heart really wasn't in it and it never will be. I just didn't see the higher purpose of working as an actuary; I couldn't see how I could really contribute to society at large in such a position. Maybe actuaries do have a place in social welfare, but I guess it's not a place I really want to fill. The monetary rewards just aren't enough compensation for all the time, energy, money and social life sacrificed to reach the peak of the profession. Yes, I acknowledge that sacrifices need to be made to be successful in any field, but the actuarial line is not the one I want those sacrifices to be made for.
Having said all that, I might just start working in a bank soon (my internship supervisor seems keen to take me on after I graduate), and, relatively speaking, maybe there isn't too much more I can contribute to society while working there either. Insurance companies (a.k.a. an actuary's natural habitat) and banks are both classified as financial institutions, so how much different could they be when it comes to their place in society?
I guess we all have to start somewhere. One thing internship has taught me is that I really am still quite young (the next youngest person in my department is around 30), and I don't have to be in such a rush to sort out my future. There's still plenty of time to explore and assess my options. One day in the future I'll probably dig up all these old blog posts and laugh at myself for being so impatient.
I'm going to end up as a lecturer, aren't I.
