Going with the Flow.

The short semester finally came to an end last week, after possibly the least stressful final exams I've ever experienced throughout my life in university. That had mostly to do with this being a short semester and I only took two straightforward subjects with straightforward exams set by my generous lecturers, but an easy ride on the studies front did not mean that it'd been an easy semester. Far from it.

Things started out rough at the beginning, but, thankfully, time heals all things. Everything either sorted itself out or I just learned to deal with the predicaments I'd found myself in. As I read somewhere, life isn't about what happens to you, but about how you respond to what happens to you. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

I realize I am being very vague regarding the details of what has transpired over the past few months. I've never really been the type to discuss every single nuance of my life, but I've noticed that I seem to provide even less details these days than I used to. Perhaps nothing has just struck a chord with me strongly enough to prompt me to properly write about it.

It all has to do with experience, I suppose. The first time you experience something, it's just so new and exciting and you want to tell everyone all about it. I remember the first time my roommate let me drive his brand new Mini Cooper - I was so excited that I was literally giggling and bouncing about. Over time, though, I got so used to driving that car that it became nothing more than routine. And such is life.

I will be starting my final semester before going for internship in mid-September - I should be excited, but I'm not. It just feels like yet another semester, only with different subjects, different lecturers and, of course, different challenges. It could just be the fact that I've only just started sem break and I really don't want to be thinking about next semester right now, but well.

The other day my classmate was talking about how she couldn't believe that we'd be graduating soon. I, on the other hand, could believe it. We'd sat for our first semester together about two years ago, and, for me at least, two years are two years. As our degree was a three-year program, it was only logical that our time at Manipal was almost up. The clock was running out, and our lives as university students would soon be over.

I'm guessing what she meant to say was that she doesn't want it to be over. She doesn't want to escape the easy life of being a student and go out into the cold, cruel world. She doesn't want to be one of those people who are forced to put their jobs ahead of their family and friends because they need the money to survive. She doesn't want to have to be responsible for her own life and livelihood. Not just yet, anyway.

Those are all very common, yet very understandable fears. I would be lying if I said, if given the choice, I would choose a hard life over a relatively easier one. At the same time, though, I understand that it's all a part of life and everyone's gotta go through it sometime. You can't be a kid all your life, after all. Furthermore, by choosing a degree program that's a year shorter than usual, I knew the consequences of my decision and that, no matter what, I'd have to go along with whatever happened.

Just like my previous semester, what is to come for me is bound to be rough at first, before getting better over time. Whatever happens, I'll take it as it comes.

Happy.

I waited until the last day of July to write my post for this month, but well, here it is. It's not that I couldn't have done this earlier, but a combination of computer viruses, being busy with other matters, and just being plainly uninspired have led to me putting it off.

It's been pretty eventful since my last post was published early last month. I have learned and experienced so much over the last two months or so, and I am thankful for that. You couldn't really tell much of what I've been up to by just going through my social media, though, since I'm not really the type to post frequent online updates. Just because a tree falls in the forest and nobody sees or hears it doesn't mean that it didn't happen or make any sound. Likewise, just because nobody knows what I do doesn't mean I don't do anything.

Speaking of doing things, here is one thing that I plan on and really hope to be doing next year: backpack solo through France. Euro 2016 will be hosted there next year and, since I also have friends in France, it seems to be a great opportunity to go. Furthermore, I might not limit myself to just France, either. While I'm there I might as well go visit two or three other countries if I can.

The Euros will start in June, and, if all goes according to plan, I will have graduated by then. While I am excited by the prospect of soon completing my undergraduate studies (ahead of pretty much all my other friends, too), it is a bit concerning to think about how my life will be after. As someone who's never had a job before, my first taste of the working life will be during my internship at the beginning of next year. It's not just the working part, either - I'll also have to move out of my parents' house and start living on my own money.

For now, I'm able to keep such terrifying thoughts from taking over my mind. I'm generally happy these days and I believe it shows in the way I go about my daily business. Ignorance is bliss, I suppose, but I don't care. For now I am still a student at Manipal - not yet an alumnus. The frightening real world will have to wait; I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. I prefer to think thoughts that help me stay happy. There is such thing as unnecessary stress, after all.

And that's probably why I don't usually involve myself in discussions related to politics, current events, or the state of the nation, which are apparently things adults talk about, and are what my friends and peers talk about as well. For one thing, it's good to see that my old school buddies are growing up and that they care about these things. On the other hand, I find these discussions to be boring as heck and try to stay away from them whenever possible.

It's not that I think these things are unimportant; on the contrary, I do keep a passing interest on the goings-on in the country and the world. It's just that I don't find it particularly stimulating to discuss and dissect them. I don't see the need to have an opinion on everything, and even if I do have an opinion on something, I don't see why everyone would need to hear it. The thing is that I can't really be bothered to talk about things that are ultimately temporary and, no matter what, will always come to pass.

There are, of course, issues that I can and will willingly discuss (like racism, for example), but most of the time I prefer to talk about things that don't make me go red in the face. I don't like getting worked up about things; much less getting myself worked up in front of other people.

Do the things you talk and think about define how mature you are? I don't think so. Maturity, for me, is defined by how you respond to whatever happens to you in this world. A person who loves talking about politics isn't necessarily more mature than someone who doesn't care about them at all. The mature one is he who realizes that the person he's passionately talking to about politics would prefer they talked about something else, so he changes the topic. The mature one is he who, despite not being in any way interested in politics, patiently allows his friend to continue talking about them because he values the conversation more than its topic.

I feel myself growing and changing every day. At the end of every semester, I find that I am a much changed person from the one I was at its beginning. Sometimes I wonder if it's normal for someone to be changing so rapidly and consistently - after all, more than a few of my friends whom I've met recently don't appear to be too different from when they left school. Or maybe they have changed since then, but felt the need to act the way their old friends expect them to act? That's certainly an interesting thought.

I guess the only person who really knows how far you've come is, well, you. You are the only person who knows all your innermost thoughts and desires. You are the person who knows you best. This is why I believe it is important to love yourself, and why you should do things that keep you happy - though at the same time not being too selfish or too much of a douche to others. As for myself, at this moment, I am happy, and that's all that matters,

Final Year Syndrome.

I recently finished my final exams. They were different this time around, in that I felt mostly indifferent about the whole ordeal - much like how I was throughout the whole semester. There was no anxiety, no great urgency - I was pretty relaxed and laidback about studying and while sitting for the exams themselves. 

I'm definitely not getting a perfect GPA for the past semester, but I guess the reason I'm not overly upset about it is partly because I know I don't deserve to. Besides, my days of chasing 4 flats are long gone now. It's all about doing well enough to obtain first-class honors so that I won't have to pay off my PTPTN loan.

I've contracted what I like to call Final Year Syndrome (FYS). I've come to the point where I've grown somewhat disillusioned with university life and just want to get it all over with so I can get a job, make my own money, start a family, and basically just begin life on my own. Classes and studies are no longer the primary focus of a semester, but are merely nuisances that get in the way of extra-curricular activities.

At the same time, I do realize that the most important thing at university is my studies. I mean, that's why I'm here for, isn't it? I'm not paying thousands every semester to organize events, write for a newsletter, or play futsal - I could actually get paid to do all that out in the real world. The main purpose of going to university is to study and earn my formal academic qualifications - everything else should be coming second.

Unfortunately, it's not as easy as simply quitting all the student societies and organizations that I'm currently affiliated with and just hitting the books every day. In most cases, I'm in too deep, and quitting would just be irresponsible of me. The problem with setting high standards for yourself is that it's difficult to find a successor who'll be able to meet those standards.

But let's not think about all this depressing stuff right now. I'm on holiday for the next two weeks and I intend to give myself a well-deserved break. I bought a bunch of books with my government-issued book vouchers and I intend to finish at least one or two of them by the time the next semester begins. It's been a while since I've had time to read fiction; possibly since last semester started.

Besides reading, I haven't really made any other plans for the next two weeks. I might meet up with some friends, but that's not cast in stone. I see myself just sitting at home, reading my books, surfing the internet, doing some writing, going for the odd outing every now and then, but that's about it. Before the upcoming storm of the next semester arrives, I'd like to spend some time in calm waters.