Final Year Syndrome.

I recently finished my final exams. They were different this time around, in that I felt mostly indifferent about the whole ordeal - much like how I was throughout the whole semester. There was no anxiety, no great urgency - I was pretty relaxed and laidback about studying and while sitting for the exams themselves. 

I'm definitely not getting a perfect GPA for the past semester, but I guess the reason I'm not overly upset about it is partly because I know I don't deserve to. Besides, my days of chasing 4 flats are long gone now. It's all about doing well enough to obtain first-class honors so that I won't have to pay off my PTPTN loan.

I've contracted what I like to call Final Year Syndrome (FYS). I've come to the point where I've grown somewhat disillusioned with university life and just want to get it all over with so I can get a job, make my own money, start a family, and basically just begin life on my own. Classes and studies are no longer the primary focus of a semester, but are merely nuisances that get in the way of extra-curricular activities.

At the same time, I do realize that the most important thing at university is my studies. I mean, that's why I'm here for, isn't it? I'm not paying thousands every semester to organize events, write for a newsletter, or play futsal - I could actually get paid to do all that out in the real world. The main purpose of going to university is to study and earn my formal academic qualifications - everything else should be coming second.

Unfortunately, it's not as easy as simply quitting all the student societies and organizations that I'm currently affiliated with and just hitting the books every day. In most cases, I'm in too deep, and quitting would just be irresponsible of me. The problem with setting high standards for yourself is that it's difficult to find a successor who'll be able to meet those standards.

But let's not think about all this depressing stuff right now. I'm on holiday for the next two weeks and I intend to give myself a well-deserved break. I bought a bunch of books with my government-issued book vouchers and I intend to finish at least one or two of them by the time the next semester begins. It's been a while since I've had time to read fiction; possibly since last semester started.

Besides reading, I haven't really made any other plans for the next two weeks. I might meet up with some friends, but that's not cast in stone. I see myself just sitting at home, reading my books, surfing the internet, doing some writing, going for the odd outing every now and then, but that's about it. Before the upcoming storm of the next semester arrives, I'd like to spend some time in calm waters.

International.

One of the good things about studying in an international university as a local student is that you get to meet lots of different people from different countries. It's the closest anyone can get to studying overseas without actually studying overseas.

I'm typing this while occupying the same room as a couple of Zimbabweans, an Indian, a Singaporean (who was originally from India) and a Malaysian Chinese. It's interesting to realize that in spite of our very different backgrounds, all the decisions we have ever taken in life have led us to this exact moment - all of us taking a break from the hecticness of university life by just chilling out in the middle of the night as the rain beats down on the streets outside.

Back in Rembau, I had no choice but to spend almost all of my time with fellow Malays. I'm not saying that was a bad thing, but as someone who grew up being surrounded by people of different religions, ethnicities and backgrounds, I often craved a little diversity. Furthermore, as someone who prefers the English language over his own mother tongue, I seldom got to put my English skills to use.

In spite of everything, I still thoroughly enjoyed my two years in Rembau. You make your own happiness and all that. I believe in taking life as it is and, instead of complaining about the things you don't have, you'd be better off making the most of the things you do have.

I've spent almost two and a half years in MIU and, once again, I'm thoroughly enjoying myself. My experiences while being in an almost exclusively Malay environment throughout my time in Rembau have actually allowed me to appreciate the fact that Malays in MIU are very few and far between - there are probably more Zimbabweans (not to mention Africans in total) here than Malays.

I'm not sure how many different nationalities there are here in this university, but an advertisement I saw some time back indicates the presence of at least 20, mostly from Africa and the Indian subcontinent. Plenty of languages are spoken here as well - I've picked up a few Tamil and Hindi/Urdu words, and it's pretty cool to be able to understand what people are saying when they converse in these languages, albeit only in bits and pieces.

I'll be graduating in about a year after I finish my internship, which is due to begin in February next year. I have no idea what will happen after that, but I'll depart from MIU knowing that my three years here were well spent. The experiences I've gained here could never have been gotten anywhere else, and for that I am forever grateful.

Void.

I try to write in this blog at least once per month, but, not for the first time, I failed to do so throughout the whole of March. No, I haven't abandoned blogging - the reason for not writing in was simply because I've either been too busy or just plain uninspired. With regards to the latter, I don't typically write here without having something I really want to talk about.

Many, many things have transpired since my last post, which was written near the end of February. That was when the Cricket World Cup was still in its early stages; Australia has since won the whole thing after beating holders India in the semi-finals and then co-hosts New Zealand in the final.

It may seem a bit odd, but of those many, many things that I mentioned, I can barely remember any of them. No, I do not suffer from short- or medium-term memory loss, and no, those many, many things were not so insignificant that my brain hasn't even bothered to attempt to recall their details. Many of them were excellent experiences that I'm sure have helped me to grow as a person, and, surprisingly enough, it this growing that I believe is the reason for this void in my memory of the past two months.

I've noticed how much I've grown over the years that have passed since I first came to MIU; I remember the bright-eyed naivete of my first semester - it's a bit funny to look back on that time and wonder how I could have been so nauseatingly positive and optimistic, especially considering the more cynical and world-weary person that I am these days.

(Yes, I'm still only 21 this year and haven't seen that much of the world yada yada, but world-weariness is a relative term, and I seem to be more world-weary than I've ever been every few weeks or so. Young people can get tired of life's sh*t, too.)

Anyway, one reason why I've stopped bothering to talk about things that have been going on in greater detail is probably because I've stopped seeing the things I've been up to as experiences - merely work that needed to be done. It's always exciting on your first day of work and you want to tell everyone everything about it, but as time goes on everything just becomes routine and you just get sick of talking about the same things happening over and over again.

Besides that, some of the things that have happened are things that would probably get me into some trouble if I were to write about them on a public platform such as this. I'm not a fan of getting into trouble - I accidentally skipped a talk by a visiting speaker back in Rembau once, and afterwards I lay on my bed for a good few minutes thinking about what I'd done.

The purpose of this blog - just as it has always been - is mainly for me to keep my writing skills sharp. Simply doing my assignments isn't enough; research-based drivel isn't something that I've ever been a fan of doing, since there isn't much room for creative expression.

Having said that, I realize that I've been ranting for pretty much this whole post. If you were expecting this post to contain something interesting or thought-provoking, then I apologize for disappointing you. I just wanted to write something; my only plan for this post was to start writing and see where it would take me.

I have two open-book tests tomorrow, and I probably should have been studying in the time that it took me to write these ten  paragraphs - not to mention the time taken to actually count the number of paragraphs that I'd written. Still, at least I didn't decide to count the number of words.