Wednesday, January 31, 2018

Experience.

I've got a big year ahead of me, full of big changes and big decisions. As always, I have no idea how things are going to go, or how I'm going to react to whatever happens, but recently I've found some comfort in the following mantra:
When the time comes, you'll know what to do.
I can't remember if I heard it from somewhere or came up with it myself, but either way, I've found it to usually be quite true. It might not work for everyone, and it definitely won't work without some degree of preparation, but it works for me. It helps to curb overthinking and keeps me calm in the face of uncertainty.

Uncertainty is a big thing for me. I'm not much of a risk-taker; I don't typically do things unless I'm fairly confident of what the outcome will be. I don't like trying new foods or meeting new people unless I'm able to first convince myself that it won't turn out too badly. (Of course, what usually happens is that I either don't try the new food or meet the new people and I move along with my life, or I do and it turns out just fine, thereby rendering all my worries pointless.)

Of course, there's never really any way to be fully certain of an outcome. Only two things in life are certain, as the saying goes: death and taxes. No matter how many reviews I read, watch or listen to about a movie, for instance, there's no way to know if I'll actually enjoy it without actually watching it. But the reviews do help to give some idea of what to expect, as will my previous experiences watching movies by the same director or featuring the same actors.

Experience, therefore, is a crucial part of eliminating uncertainty. The other day, I had to make some phone calls to get data for my research, and the prospect of calling all these government offices seemed hugely daunting...until I actually brought myself to make the first call. Things were a lot smoother and more bearable after that, as I'd already had the experience of making that first phone call and would rely on that experience to make the subsequent ones.

That's an example of firsthand experience, which is always the best kind. Sometimes, though, firsthand experience is out of reach, and you just have to rely on secondhand experience instead. As someone who doesn't talk much (or didn't use to, anyway), I tend to listen a lot to what people say, and sometimes people relate their experiences in matters I've never come near to. I've learned a lot about life from people who've lived far more of it than I have, and it's partly why I didn't get up to a lot of mischief when I was younger. I didn't have to make mistakes because I learned from the mistakes of others.

This year, I'm aiming to actively gain more firsthand experience. 'Actively' is the key word here; where possible, I'd like to do less sitting around waiting for things to happen to me. I started being more proactive some time ago, but this year I'd like to step it up. I'd like to stop being so overly cautious and passive and just...do things instead of thinking up reasons why I shouldn't.

I don't know what I'll end up doing this year, but I can rest easy with the knowledge that whatever happens and however these things happen will be for the best. No need for overthinking.

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