Accents.

Back when I was younger, I was a much more fluent speaker of English than I am today. This was largely due to the fact that English was the main language of communication that I used during my international school years. Heck, I even considered English to be my first language instead of Malay, such was my tendency to use it. In my head, even, my thoughts were exclusively in English.

I don't know exactly where my infatuation with the English language originated from. Perhaps it was the early exposure from my parents, who were both excellent in the tongue. I grew up reading English books, and watching English TV shows and films.

Now, by this point, you may be expecting my first word to be an English one. Well, it wasn't. I've been told by my relatives that it was actually tumpah, the Malay word meaning 'spilled'.

In any case, my first word was proof that I wasn't raised in an English-only environment. It was just as bilingual as that experienced by many Malays. However, for some reason, I always preferred English over my native tongue. My mother would buy me Malay storybooks and stuff, but I never got around to reading them (even up till today) due to a distinct lack of interest.

As I grew up watching predominantly US-based programs on TV, it was only natural that I developed an American accent. I also picked up British at some point, but I can't really pin down how that happened.

People in Malaysia love those accents - well, in general, anyway. When a Malaysian speaks with a British accent, it somehow makes him or her sound educated. As for an American accent, it gives you the impression that the person using it talks a lot, and in English to boot. Basically, if you're a Malaysian who speaks with either one of these accents, the first impression held of you by others is generally one of high regard.

However, this is mostly untrue in a primary, and even secondary school setting, particularly in typical Malaysian public schools. Most of the students there only have a basic grasp of the English language, and their manner of speech reflects as much. Kids who speak English well are generally thought of as rich, snobby show-offs.

It was due to this that I, upon moving to a public school at the age of 10, felt the need to lay low on the English-speaking. As the new kid on the block, it simply wouldn't do to just go around imposing my English capabilities on everyone, now, would it.

In spite of that, I still managed to preserve my accent, as I had several English-speaking friends. What really did it for my accent, however, was when I moved to Rembau.

In Rembau, I was surrounded by Malays; Malays whom I'd never bet before in my life. Determined to fit in and not be teased about my accent, I made the decision to speak entirely in Malay. That's right - I didn't even allow myself to rojak things up. I wouldn't even talk to my English teacher in English, only in Malay. I believe there were even instances where I actually pretended to be unable to speak English fluently (or maybe that was at my previous school, I can't remember).

As time went on, it was clear that I was fooling no one as I consistently got high marks for my English papers during the exams. I realized that not speaking English would make my fluency (and accent) go away, so I decided to use it more. Even though I still spoke mostly in full Malay, whenever I did have to speak in English I did it properly. There was one time when I had to do some public speaking during the morning assembly, and on a whim (and also popular demand from my classmates) I gave my speech in my British accent.

Unfortunately, by that time it just wasn't the same. Speaking English and not sounding like a non-native speaker was no longer as natural as it used to be.

I was saddened by this, at first. As time went on, though, I decided to embrace it. I am a Malaysian after all, so what's wrong with sounding like one? If people around you are rojak-ing, what would their perception of you if you respond by sounding like a Silicon Valley girl, or the butler Alfred?

Accents are fine in a formal setting, like a presentation or a speaking test. However, you can't go to a wet market and go "Lovely morning, my good sir! How much is it for two kilograms of this fine mackerel?"

A good communicator adapts his or her speech to the manner that is most comfortable for the person he or she is speaking to, and the most appropriate for the situation. Having an accent is great and all, but if the person you're talking to can't understand you, or even feels inferior due to not being able to speak as well as you, then there's really no point, is there.